we'll be missing him so much

alhamdulillah. rasenye Boy sudah slmt smpai di Makkah skrg nie. flight dia pkl6.30 pg smlm. baru tak smpai 24 jam dia pegi, me, mas (his adik agkt) and leya (the gf) dh rindu da kt dia. adoiyai. tadi time drive elok je kt hot fm kuar lagu dia. tetiba jd sedih sbb rindu plus ada mslh ckit yg merisaukan kitorg. Ya Allah. tlgla lindungi dia dari segala perbuatan jahat manusia keji itu. dia baru je nk naik dlm entertainment industry nie. next month mcm bz ckit. we plan nk buat jamuan kesyukuran after dia balik from umrah. then maybe i'll be helping the manager to hold a gathering with his fans. kalau aku rase rajinla. ngeeee. bcause my intersession class will be starting on 17th may until 23rd june. sebulan tu gua kne mengadap marketing jela. adehhh.

so, hopefully boy dpt ketenangan kt sane. itulah yg dia plg harapkan sblm dia pegi. jadi artis nie bkn sng, mcm2 yg dtg. kitorg hnye mampu tlg ape yg patut je. smoga dia slmt pulg ke sini nnti. amin :)

aku perlukan kekuatan :(

been very busy this week. rasenye minggu yg plg menduga kesabaran aku dan menginginkan aku lg tabah. last wednesday which is a day before my first paper of final exam, ayah nik accident kt subang. dia tgh bwk motor then kreta langgar dr blkg, dia terhempas kt atas  cermin kreta smpai pecah. can u imagine it? time dpt berita dari mak de (stepmum) tu, i was so speechless bcause i was doing my stupidoo MIP work and hadn't studied anything for my MGT paper which was on the day after. ada 2 paper. it was around 9 pm at that time. mase tu rase mcm nk nangis je and terfikir knape mesti smue nie terjadi dlm waktu mcm nie? without any berfikir pnjg lg terus mintk tlg kak aina hantar ke hospital sungai buloh. smpai2 je kt emergency room, bleh dgr suara ayh jerit tahan sakit. but he was unconscious at that time. ntahla susah nk ckp mcm mane. mata dia tutup tp mulut jerit2 tahan sakit sbb dijahit kt kepala tanpa bius. doktor bwt mcm tu pn sbb, klw dia dibius tkut dia pgsan n xdpt nk fight for his life. darah byk kluar dr kepala n telinga dia. aishhhh. first time experience tgk live mcm tu.


tuhan je tau mcm mane perasaan aku time tu. dgn nk exam lg. keje MIP n e-portfolio smue. presentation MIP plak hari jumaat. ya Allah, mmg tak cukup lgsg mase. nsib baik group member memahami. thanks Hussein, Ina and kak Ana krana izinkn aku tak pegi presentation sbb aku perlu brade di sisi ayah. time nie la aku nk jlnkn tggungjwb aku sbg anak. so, hari2 la aku ulang alik ke hospital. skrg nie keadaan ayah.. ntahla. if ada yg tgk kt fb aku, mesti tau dia mcm mane kn skrg. sekelip mata je dia jd mcm tu. he doesnt recognize people at all. xbleh b'ckp, meracau2 smpai terpakse ikat tgn n kaki dia. it happens bcause effect kt kepala dia mmg teruk. pendarahan dalaman, tempurung kepala retak and ada bgkak kt dlm tu. kdg2 aku b'ckpla jgk kt dia. tp dia xcam aku pn. sedih sgt. sekelip mata dia jd mcm tu. hopefully smue nie temporary je. i want him to be normal back like before. thanks sgt2 for those yg slalu bg support and kata2 nasihat. really appreciate that. plz doakan utk ayah aku okeyy? :')


hmm. aku redha dgn ape yg terjadi. mungkin ada hikmahnye. ye. hikmahnye adalah, slame 21 tahun aku hidup di bumi Allah ini. akhirnya for the first time aku dilihat oleh adik bradik ayah aku ketika dorg dtg melawat. rasenye rmai dh tau that my parents divorced when i was a baby. so, dorg smue temasukla gradparents aku kt kelantan xpenah tgk aku pn. finally last friday, aku diperkenalkn kpd. err. 9 org adk bradik ayah aku. jenuh aku nk m'ingat. maklong, makcik yah, makngah, ayah sein, ayah me (man), ayah le (lan), and ada some others yg aku xingt name. 9 org tu yg bru aku jumpe, ada lg 2 org tak sempat nk jumpe. ayah din dgn maksu. ayah din dtg awal while maksu kt kelantan jage tokwan and tokcik (gradparents). aaaa smuenye ada 12org adk bradik. well done tokwan and tokcik! aku dinasihatkn utk blaja loghat kelantan lpas nie. sbb bila dorg borak2, aku tercengang2 tak fhm ape. name je aku nie anak org kelantan, ada Nik kt depan name tp jiwa negeri sembilan. tontulah. kot org tanyo pun den jwb den org nogori yoo. jejak kan kaki kt kelantan pn xpenah. ksian. uhuk2. :(

yang terindah

Semenjak kau hadir dalam hidupku

Tiada lagi keresahan

Kau mengetuk pintu hatiku

Tanpa sedar hingga ku izinkan

Kau yang bernama cinta

Kau yang memberi rasa

Kau yang ilhamkan bahagia

Hingga aku terasa indah

Maaf jikaku tidak sempurna

Tika bahagia mula menjelma

Bila keyakinan datang merasa

Kasih disalut dengan kejujuran

Mencintai dirimu

Merindui dirimu

Memiliki dirimu

Hingga akhir hayat bersama kamu

Kau yang bernama cinta

Kau yang memberi rasa

Kau yang ilhamkan bahagia

Hingga aku terasa indah

Kau yang bernama cinta

Hingga aku rasa indah

* ost i'm not single and AdaMaya

a little wish from my tiny heart

happy birthday ex bf. i na wish kt phone tp takut kena marah :(

u're 20 now. hope u're getting mature in ur decision making. ingat lagi tak, i was so happy with you a year a go. but this year, bermusuh mengalahkn U.S dgn Iraq. sighhh. my bad, i know.

happy birthday once again. mr.pop corn

<3 caramel

p/s: plz take out the ring from ur necklace if u're hating me.

last night was totally awesome!

ianya tidak lah se gah Suju concert. but enough for me to say that i had a wonderful time last night. sumpahh. smpai skrg asyik senyum sorg2 je. hehe. do u know how does it feels when u got to see and talk to ur favourite singer?? that was what happened to me mannn. maybe penyanyi ini blm begitu popular lg. tetapi name dia sdg naik. he's trying hard for it. his real name is Sabhi Saddi. tp sy pggil dia Boy saje. sbb sy mula2 start tgk dia dlu dgn name Boy. that time i was in form 3. he appeared in one of AF 2's concert. time adam perform Tipah Tertipu. Boy and his friend, Ijan surprisekn adam and danced with him. before that dorg pnah ada group name Esdco kt sabah. since that time, sudah minat ckit2. and last year, i started to hear his song, Nadiku, one of the OST in tari tirana. alaaa klw part neo dgn tirana je mst kluar lagu tu.

so i got two free tickets for that charity concert under the name of Sabhi Saddi's fan. around 5.45 pm, me and kak aina bertolak dr shah alam. as u can expect, that time was the peak hour so we stucked in a very massive traffic jam for 2 hours! that time rase mcm nk give up da pkl7 still lg kt federal highway PJ. tp manager Boy, Mr.Aszuad asked me to come jgk. around 8.20 pm smpai sane, msuk je adibah noor dh performed. after that ada la artis baru nyanyi, xknal pn. then smpaila turn Boy. fuhhhh. jatuh jntung gua. huhu. comeyl gile dowhh. pastu ada amy mastura, betty benafe, nurul, atilia, ayu OIAM, aizat, zainal abidin n rmai lglah. while watching their performances, i texted Mr.Aszuad.

me: i ada request nie, nk tgkp gmbr dgn Boy bleh tak? td kn tak sempat.

him: boleh, come to the CD counter.

me: is he there?

him: yes.

me: alamak seganlah

him: laa..dtglaa..

me: mcm manela nk tgkp gmbr if it's dark there? dhla phone tade flash.

him:dtg sini dlu then pegi lua.

me: erkk. bleh mcm tu eyhh?? huhu

him: ok come.

me: alamak kaki tak bleh jalan

him: laaa jgnla mcm tu...

hahahaa. after dh kne mrh from kak aina, sy pegi jgk akhirnye kt Boy. punyela payah nk pegi smpai bwt2 tgk brg kt booth aizat n beli poster dia plak. cehhh. smpai je kt Boy trus ckp kt dia nk tgkp gmbr then kitorg ikut dia kluar sbb dlm ballroom tu gelap.betty benafe duk goyang2 kt atas tu aku xpeduli pun. kui3. manager dia pn ikut skali n tlg tgkp gmbr. friendly gak Boy tu sbb ada certain artists mcm kerek la. after dh click click tu manager dia sruh kitorg bwk Boy msuk dlm. chewahhh. satu tggungjwb yg aku plg suka. makanye, aku & kak aina jln dgn dia pegi msuk ballroom. smbl jalan tu borak2 dgn dia. ngeeee. then sggah booth dia, beli EP dia. smbl dia sign kt CD cover tu smpat sy wish kt dia slmt pegi n balik umrah 24 hb nie. :)

thank u kak aina sbb tlg drive kn sy ke situ. thank u mr.aszuad sbb u sgt sporting and u're a great artist manager. plus, blanje kitorg mkn kt kg.baru lg tu padahal sy yg ajk, and thank u for the free tickets. :)

lastly, thank you to Boy. it's like a dream comes true. i believe u will succeed someday.

arrived in Shah Alam around 2.30 am. penat gile dowhhh. i shall say it was a great night :D

the journey begins, ok i know i dh lg chubby now.

the lady driver. hahahaa ;D

nurul

he stunned me, Sabhi Saddi aka Boy ;)

tadaa! berjaya men'curi' dia skejap. ngeee ;D

org yg dh byk tlg kitorg, Mr.Aszuad :)

sempat lg pegi kt aizat bfore balik.

good job too aizat!

truly me,

hari contact lense

hari cermin mataku :)

Hari cermin mata itu berlaku when i'm late for the class and tak sempat nk make up & pkai contact lense so jdla muka yg pucat itu. huhuhu. diam tak diam, dh almost 5 semesters (t'masuk kt uitm kuantan) sy pkai tdung pegi ke class. dlu 1st semester asasi tak pkai lg. 2nd sem baru start. then continue plak time degree. but when i'm outside, free hair la. korg smue pn tau kn. awlnye tujuan sy pkai tdung pegi ke class tu bknla sbb nk cover rambut rosak ke colour merah perang unggu coklet ke. tak, rambut sy masih ok lg and masih hitam. hipokrit ke? siape kamu utk judge sy? sy pkai sbb sy nk ajr diri sy slow2 utk pkai tdung n smoga hati ini terbuka utk pkai sepenuhnye. but it has been almost for 3 years now, so bila lg wahai nik siti hajar aisyah? terfikir juga. sudah bersedia ke blm? Tuhan bila2 mase je bleh ambil nyawa kamu. hmmmmm....~

skrg sudah start bz sgt2. and next week is the final week for this semester. cepat je mase berlalu kn? rase mcm baru je masuk sem 4. nk dkt final week nie mula la kelam kabut nk bwt itu ini. assignment, presentation, test, quiz, group work, individual work, proposal. uishhh. complete smue. bila lah penderitaan ini mau berakhir? seriously, dlu time bwt part time job pn xpenat mcm nie pada hal satu hari keje smpai 12 jam. dlm sibuk2 nie, sempat jgk sy nk melarikn diri ke PJ this weekend. weee. there will be grandpa's birthday party. and i wonder how old is he now?? hihihi. setahun skali smbut, tapela kasi chance. lgpn, berada dgn family adalah satu ketenangan bgku. dont u think so? ouhhh. tmpt baru yg bleh bwt sy hilgkn stress sbntr - fitness centre! smgt btl g gym and aerobic class skrg nie. plg enjoy massala aerobic la, penat tp sronok. at least kluarla jgk peluh kn. huhuhu.

ehhh, sudah pkl5 pg. study OB dh, proposal daddy O belum. adehhh. nnti bgn pkl7.30 and bru nk bwt. mintk2 la bleh bgn sbb klw sy t'lmpau penat alarm letak high volume pun takkn bgn. n bila mau tido nie jaja? merepek je annn. dhla tulis pnjg2. biarlah, sape nk bace, bacelah. klw tak nak, tak suka, meluat, benci. sy nk ckp ada aku kisah? tapela. sesungguhnye yg baik itu dtg dr Allah dan yg buruk itu dtg dr kita sendiri. dgn ini sblm sy tido sy nk mintk maaf dr smue org if i ever hurt u before, with my actions or words. 1001 apologize from me. and sy maafkn juga kamu2 yg penah bwt sy tersinggung ke kecik hati ke or whatsoever. tapela. kita smue manusia tiada yg sempurnanye. take care everyone!

love,

me!

i wanna watch it plz?

nk tgk final FA this saturday.

tp tak tau nk ajk sape.

isk2. ayah mesti mls nk pegi.

the ticket will be sold tomorrow at STAR.

aihhhh.

apesal letak gmbr Zaquan je? mane yg lain?

because he is my favourite striker.

hehehehehheheee. (gelak jahat)

HOBIN JANG HOBIN!

mintk2 monang la kan.

amin....~

geram gila tau tak??

sumpah comeyl weyhh! geram sangat2! they are soooo cute! dh besar nnti boleh jadi model niehh, kecik2 dh ada gaya dahh. ilham haziq is kak ana's nephew while fareeq rayyan is ina's nephew. umur masing2 lebih kurg setahun la. akibat terlampau comeyl and aku geram yg amat, i asked their aunties' permissions to publish these two cutest baby boys' pictures in the blog. arghhhhh klw korg berdua ada kt depan aunty jaja, siaplah korg. aunty cubit2 and cium2 pipi tu nanti. kui3.

p/s: cant wait to have my own kids, but it's in another 5-6 years more from now. insyaAllah. ;)

moral of the story

hopefully she will take that as a lesson.

aku marah, tp tidak membenci.

for what she has done to us,

cukuplah dgn hukuman yg kitorg bg.

itu pun dh kira baik la.

hopefully she will change, for the sake of her own good.

do change!

ckp psl org, aku nie bila lg?

sumone has told me,

do not change just because of him.

do it bcause of myself.

i'm trying so hard rite now.

hmm. esk nk pegi aerobic class lah.

at least i can free myself from stress, not much but it helps.

good night everyone.

i'm gonna slave myself at PTAR tomorrow morning till the late afternoon i guess.

that is soooo not me, but i have to.